Desire and Reality in Conflict

 

Fourteen weeks into this life changing effort I am amazed at my mental and physical transformation. I started out at 303 pounds and could easily be winded just using the remote control.  Now I am at the gym five to six times a week. Nutritional wisdom is a now cornerstone of my life and my diet is spot on.

To continue to challenge myself I started an “Air Squat Challenge” on my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/events/410434935686302/   I stole this idea from someone else with after the fact permission. The challenge to me and many of my friends was to commit to completing 100 air squats a day for thirty days. For me I was thinking that in addition to what I was already doing this would be an added spark for me physically. My guru Carolyn Maul has said that your body easily adapts to the same workouts and that you need to keep mixing it up- thus this effort.

At this point in my journey I feel as though I am now a fat athlete.  As an example last night I did my one hundred air squats, spent thirty minutes on the elliptical, went straight to thirty minutes on the stationary bike and then directly to forty minutes on the treadmill.

Basically this week like every of the previous thirteen weeks I laid it all out for this effort. These days at least Monday through Friday my day consists of:

• waking up
• going to work for 11-12 hours
• coming home and having dinner
• going to the gym for between 1 ½ to 2 hours or more
• coming home to shower and then collapse into sleep
• Repeat cycle at least five time or more

So the point of all of this is that I remain intensely focused on my goals and there isn’t a chance that I’m going to turn back to the old me. My focus is still laser sharp but I do request the indulgence of being pretty seriously pissed today! After adding the Air Squat Challenge, continuing the great dietary habits and exhausting workouts this week I lost just .6 pounds! That’s right- there’s a period in front of the six!

Are you freaking kidding me!?!?!

	Last	This	Pounds Lost	Total	% Weight
Week	Week	Week	This Week	Pounds Lost	Loss to Date
1	303	294	9	9	2.97%
2	294	287.2	6.8	15.8	5.37%
3	287.2	284.6	2.6	18.4	6.41%
4	284.6	279.4	5.2	23.6	8.29%
5	279.4	276.8	2.6	26.2	9.38%
6	276.8	272	4.8	31	11.20%
7	272	269.8	2.2	33.2	12.21%
8	269.8	266.8	3	36.2	13.42%
9	266.8	266.6	0.2	36.4	13.64%
10	266.6	258	8.6	45	16.88%
11	258	256.6	1.4	46.4	17.98%
12	256.6	253.2	3.4	49.8	19.41%
13	253.2	251	2.2	52	20.54%
14	251	250.4	0.6	52.6	20.96%

 

God presents us with opportunities and challenges and despite the desires of man we don’t always get what we think that we deserve. There is a reason why this is and I don’t have a clue as to what that reason is. It may be a test to determine my true will and my true desire. To be sure my true will and desire is to continue to do everything that I can to succeed in this process and to stop being the fat man that I was who was full of excuses why it was so.

I am exceedingly thankful for the .6 pounds that I lost last week and for the 52.6 pounds I have lost overall.

The journey continues unabated!

 

My Body is a Jerk!

It’s been two weeks since my last post and during that time I have learned that my body is a real jerk! It has managed to show me who is in control and insists upon wanting me to fall just short of my expectations and desires.

Two weeks ago I started the week with incredibly high expectations. I had just lost 8.6 pounds the week before and I was certain that if I just ratcheted my workouts up a notch I could lose even more weight during that week. As always my diet was spot on and I was obsessive hitting the gym for six straight nights. And as a reward for my efforts my body only gave up 1.4 pounds! That’s right- a whopping 22 ounces!

While I wasn’t thrilled I was still happy with some weight loss. I also took comfort in the knowledge that I was very close to hitting the 50 pounds lost mark and that was on my mind as my target goal all week. I see 50 pounds lost as being a large milestone and it was within reach. I worked out hard all week and of course ate right and was sure I would get there. With great excitement I jumped on the scale this morning looking for that magical awe inspiring 50 pound mark- and what did I lose in total? 49.8 pounds! If these two weeks don’t prove that my body is a jerk then I don’t know what does!

So as I head into week 13 I’m looking forward to not one but two potential milestones next week. I could indeed pass the 50 pound mark and if the jerk lets me I could break into the 240’s as well.

Below is the spreadsheet tracking my process so far:

	Last	This	Pounds Lost	Total	% Weight
Week	Week	Week	This Week	Pounds Lost	Loss to Date
1	303	294	9	9	2.97%
2	294	287.2	6.8	15.8	5.37%
3	287.2	284.6	2.6	18.4	6.41%
4	284.6	279.4	5.2	23.6	8.29%
5	279.4	276.8	2.6	26.2	9.38%
6	276.8	272	4.8	31	11.20%
7	272	269.8	2.2	33.2	12.21%
8	269.8	266.8	3	36.2	13.42%
9	266.8	266.6	0.2	36.4	13.64%
10	266.6	258	8.6	45	16.88%
11	258	256.6	1.4	46.4	17.98%
12	256.6	253.2	3.4	49.8	19.41%

 

General observations:

 

Overall I am very, very happy with my progress so far. If anyone had told my 303 pound self twelve weeks ago that I would have been where I am today I would have questioned their sanity. Sadly I let myself get to the point where I still have about 50 pounds to go but I am absolutely certain that I will get there. Even if I could average 2.5 pounds per week lost from this point on I would be there in just 20 weeks.

That which is both frustrating and exciting are the challenges I am having with clothes now. Everything from 12 weeks ago is way to big now. My pants look like clown pants and my shirts are huge. This has created a lot of extra expense which is frustrating because I’ll be in the same position when I lose the next 50 pounds!

 

Every day it becomes more and more clear to me that this process is far more about the exercise of the mind rather than that of the body. Personal focus and clarity of mind and goals must come first and then the nutrition, diet and body will follow.

An example occurred last night. Short story is that there was a family medical emergency with my Dad that had me traveling out of state to a hospital and back in the same day with about seven hours in the car. It was a miserable day in every aspect and I didn’t get home until 9:45 pm. Few people would have faulted me for calling it a day but I have made a conscious effort to give up on excuses. I am fat and no longer desire to be so and there’s only one person that can change that. Me! By 10pm I was down at the gym and did not get back home until midnight.  It sucked like a Dyson but it was simultaneously exhilarating to have punched another excuse in the face!

So on to week 13. On to the 50+ pound mark. On to the 240’s. And if that jerk gets in my way again he’s going to suffer the fate as my excuses.

Good News – Bad News

 

Like all things in life not everything is perfectly good or completely bad. So it is with my Wellness Revolution journey. Lets just jump right in for a review of things since my last post.

 

Good news

This post today is the 100^th post I have put up since the inception of this blog. The stat counter at this point puts the historical hits on this site at over 466,000. During its most recent incarnation I am averaging 150-200 hits per day. The purpose of this site has always been partly for my benefit but equally for the benefit of others who share similar struggles with their weight. My sincere hope is that somewhere in those 466,000 + hits some people may have found the site to be somewhat funny, informative and helpful

Bad News

I know that “we all have the same 24 hours in a day” but life has been very, very busy for me as of late and as such I have missed two weeks of posting. As in any life situation you have to make choices as to where to alleviate pressure and free up time and regrettably the posting of this blog has been sacrificed in favor of other life related needs. What I can tell you is that the blog was on vacation but my weight loss efforts were not…

Good News

I have yet to have a week where I haven’t lost weight but two weigh-ins ago I came perilously close with a whopping .2 pound weight loss! I think that a small part of that may have been a natural plateau that can occur during wight loss but the greatest factor was exercise frequency. My nutrition/diet is still spot on and about as perfect as you can get but that week I only worked out once.

Good News

The minimal weight loss week was a kick in the pants to me. I wasn’t happy about it and I resoubled my efforts with the amount of time at the gym and the intensity of what I was doing there. As a result this  weeks results were more than good news- they were great news! For this past week I lost 8.6 pounds for a total of 45 pounds lost in just ten weeks. I broke into the 250’s for the first time in over three years and I am incrredibly motivated to carry on.

As a reminder my motivation for starting this effort was a story in the Nashua Telegrah about a man who lost 100 pounds in six months. He did it thanks to Carolyn Maul and the Wellness Revoluton program at the Nashua Athletic Club. I swear by that program and the abilities of Carolyn Maul.

http://www.nashuaathleticclub.com/8-week-wellness-revolution-program/

http://carolynmaul.com/

I would have never dreamed that I could be on pace to do what that man did in six month but I am. While I don’t imagine that I will match his efforts within that time period I am certain that I will achieve my complete goal regardless of the time that it takes me to finish the journey.

 

 

	Last	This	Pounds Lost	Total	% Weight
Week	Week	Week	This Week	Pounds Lost	Loss to Date
1	303	294	9	9	2.97%
2	294	287.2	6.8	15.8	5.37%
3	287.2	284.6	2.6	18.4	6.41%
4	284.6	279.4	5.2	23.6	8.29%
5	279.4	276.8	2.6	26.2	9.38%
6	276.8	272	4.8	31	11.20%
7	272	269.8	2.2	33.2	12.21%
8	269.8	266.8	3	36.2	13.42%
9	266.8	266.6	0.2	36.4	13.64%
10	266.6	258	8.6	45	16.88%

 

Bad News

My wardrobe is a wreck! A problem that I had never imagined was having clothes that are too big. The picture above relates to the reaction that my wife has when looking at some of my clothes. The problem is that I don’t want to spend money on new clothes when I am only about half way to where I need to be. The one specific problem that does need to be addressed relates to a brand new suit that I bought and had tailored just before I started this effort. It was to serve a dual purpose which was for me niece’s wedding at that time and my son’s wedding next month. I have just tried it on and it looks ridiculous now. I have to hope that they can alter it downward substantially or I will need to buy a new suit after just one wearing.

Bad News (actually shameful news)

 

 

The other day at the gym I picked up a 40 pound dumbbell because that’s how much I had lost at that point. I was amazed at how heavy it was and then even more amazed that at that point I had lost that much pure, unadulterated fat! I am even beyond that mark by five pounds now and I must say that my level of weight loss accomplishment is tempered with a great deal of humility and shame.

How could I have let myself get to the point where I had disrespected myself and endangered my health by allowing 100 pounds of fat to attach itself to my body? Yes it happened slowly. Yes it happened over a long period of time. But it still happened and I allowed it to happen. There are no excuses to be had here for no one forced the food into me and no one tied me to a couch!

The BEST NEWS

I have always told others that yesterday does not matter because you can’t change history. All that really matters is what you do with each new day forward for that is what you can change and make a difference in. With that being said I end this 100^th post looking forward. Looking forward to appropriate weight, better health and a new beginning. Or more succinctly as Carolyn Maul says it- it’s all about

“Snatching my sexy back!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Laser Focus

I am a week behind as I did not post last week. Frankly I should have because it was a good week but I just ran out of time and couldn’t get it done.

My theme for this week is focus. More specifically it is “laser focus.” I am currently in a mindset where there is no turning back on this “Wellness Revolution.”  I am seven weeks into the eight week program with Carolyn Maul at the Nashua Athletic Club and the classes have served me well. I have learned that there is more to weight loss than just dieting and exercise. Nutrition is now an integral part of my life and frankly I have no sense of, nor desire to turn back to the old me.

When I went into Wednesday night’s class I was feeling especially confident in how far I have come and more importantly on where I am going! When talking about it with Carolyn she said that she could see a “laser focus” in me now. While she might have been overly kind with her words I don’t think that it’s too far off the mark.

In seven weeks I find myself already one third of the way to my goal- but the reality is that this shouldn’t and isn’t a numbers based effort. If I think of an end mark then that would tempt me to consider that this effort will one day be over. The reality is that it will never be over. Much like an alcoholic who can’t risk a single drink I too must be vigilant about my health and weight for the rest of my life.

Am I proud of how I’ve done so far? Of course I am. Even with how great I feel and my weight loss to date I have simply just gone from being really fat to just fat. I still have to power through the pretty fat, kind of fat and chunky state of life before I get to where I need to be!

So with that I must continue to journey on down this road of change. Unlike Dorothy my road isn’t paved with yellow bricks. My road is paved with nutrition, exercise, lots of sweat and did I mention focus? Laser focus to be exact!

Weekly results:

As I didn’t post last week here are the results for the past two weeks. Two weeks ago I lost 4.8 pounds and this past week I lost 2.2 pounds for a seven week total of 33.2 pounds and 12.21% overall weight loss. As I was looking at this chart I saw a familiar pattern in the numbers. From week two on I have had a big loss week followed by a small loss week for six straight weeks. I’m not sure what to make of that but I am hopeful that if the pattern continues I should have a great week this week.

Also of note is the fact that for the first time in a long time I am in the 260’s, (just barely). If someone had told me seven weeks ago that at 303 pounds I could be where I am already I would have thought them crazy.

	Last	This	Pounds Lost	Total	% Weight
Week	Week	Week	This Week	Pounds Lost	Loss to Date
1	303	294	9	9	2.97%
2	294	287.2	6.8	15.8	5.37%
3	287.2	284.6	2.6	18.4	6.41%
4	284.6	279.4	5.2	23.6	8.29%
5	279.4	276.8	2.6	26.2	9.38%
6	276.8	272	4.8	31	11.20%
7	272	269.8	2.2	33.2	12.21%

If Pounds Were Miles…

If a pound was a mile I would have lost the equivalent of a marathon in the first five weeks of my “Wellness Revolution!” This past week I lost 2.6 pounds for a total of 26.2 pounds lost thus far as listed in the chart below:

	Last	This	Pounds Lost	Total	% Weight
Week	Week	Week	This Week	Pounds Lost	Loss to Date
1	303	294	9	9	2.97%
2	294	287.2	6.8	15.8	5.37%
3	287.2	284.6	2.6	18.4	6.41%
4	284.6	279.4	5.2	23.6	8.29%
5	279.4	276.8	2.6	26.2	9.38%

While I tied my lowest weekly weight loss to date I could now be happier with it. If you recall in my post last week I was whining and worried about my results this week because Deb and I were going away for a long weekend. As a result all meals for three days would be ordered from a restaurant and that which is becoming routine for me now would be thrown into disarray which I viewed as a big challenge for me.

My weekly point of enlightenment came when Carolyn Maul read the blog and emailed me politely asking me to adjust my attitude.  She said that instead of viewing the upcoming week as being a “challenge” it was better to view it as an “opportunity.” So that’s how I went into the week viewing these circumstances as an opportunity. An opportunity  to demonstrate that I am still in control of my actions, diet and exercise! (By the way- Carolyn has updated her web site – take a look:  http://carolynmaul.com/ )

The biggest “opportunity” I faced was eating out for so many meals. The one thing I discovered quickly was that no matter what type of restaurant we went into at any time of day I would immediately look at the kinds of meals I would have normally ordered. As a result there is no question as to how I became fat! Quite literally there was not a single meal that I would have normally ordered that was within a country mile of being healthy.

The bottom line is that I am in control of the food that enters my body and therefore making sound nutritional choices not just for today but into my future will make me a more fit. As a result I will one day soon be a healthy man free of blood pressure and cholesterol meds.  I know that the weight loss wasn’t huge this week but it was healthy loss.  While I desire big numbers every week I recognize that I got fat over a long period of time and slimming down will indeed take time as well.

The one thing I can tell you is that although I’m still fat I feel much, much better. I have more energy and already I’m able to reach into the dark depths of my closet to start wearing clothes that have been unavailable for wear in a long, long time.

So into the next week I go. I know have a great understanding of what I need to do and the plan is to continue to exercise that plan from this point forward, (pun intended). If any of you are reading this and thinking that you are beyond hope please think again.  Reach out to others for help and support while removing yourself from negative people and negative influences. Be patient and look at every small step in the right direction as being a great blessing and benefit for yourself!

I Lost a Turkey!

Today’s post has to be pretty short because my wife and I are heading out of town for the weekend. That in itself will produce numerous challenges for me regarding weight loss in the coming week. I have started to settle into a daily and weekly routine to support “The Wellness Revolution.” Daily routine and patterns have made it easier to eat properly and on a precise schedule. That will be far more difficult this week.

Additionally Sunday is food purchase and food prep day. We go to three separate places to buy the specific food that we need. There is then a time of preparing a lot of our food for the work week ahead. That probably takes at least three hours of time. As we will not be in town on Sunday I have not yet figured out how we will adjust to that. I also have a meeting at church on Tuesday night that will effectively eliminate one night at the gym. I think I’ll call this challenge week!

 

My weekly attitudinal adjustment came shortly after last week’s post I wasn’t happy about the amount of weight I had lost and I got a supportive email from my trainer Carolyn Maul who runs the Wellness Revolution program through the Nashua Athletic Club. Part of the email talked about setting realistic expectations regarding weekly weight loss. She also talked about the man who she had trained and whom I had read about in the Nashua Telegraph that had lost so much weight in such a short period of time: http://www.telegraphneighbors.com/localnews/966461-147/man-drops-100-pounds-in-6-months.html?CSAuthResp=1234%3A%3A5000%3A257%3A24%3Aapproved%3A748801ABF57441070238AEAD407A5FAA

The quote from her email that resonated with me the most was that he had only been successful at this effort because “…that was him busting ass at the gym 5x week.” I realized that while I was going to the gym on occasion I certainly wasn’t doing it as regularly or with as maximum of an effort as I needed.

This week I worked at being more consistent with that effort and it paid some dividends for me.

I always like to create a visual image for me to help me understand how much weight I have last in either a weekly or effort to date time period. This week I realized that when we host a Thanksgiving dinner I always look for the biggest turkey that I can find- at the least one over twenty pounds. I then picture how heavy that turkey is when I sling it into the shopping cart and now I imagine that being how much less I weigh today vs. before The Wellness Revolution.

 

Weekly results:

So this week I lost 5.2 pounds for a four week total of 23.6 pounds with a weight loss percentage of 8.29%. I can’t remember the last time the 270’s and I met!  Obviously I’m very happy with that but I am wise enough to know that this was a very good week with a consistent schedule. This week will be different with a lot more challenges so I don’t know what to expect for next week. If I escape next week with a more realistic loss of a couple of pounds I will consider myself blessed!

	Last	This	Pounds Lost	Total	% Weight
Week	Week	Week	This Week	Pounds Lost	Loss to Date
1	303	294	9	9	2.97%
2	294	287.2	6.8	15.8	5.37%
3	287.2	284.6	2.6	18.4	6.41%
4	284.6	279.4	5.2	23.6	8.29%

 

The disappointment of a fat man….

 

 

Ok- this one is going to be short and sweet because frankly I’m not in a very good mood! This past week I did everything that I was supposed to.

I did cardio like I was supposed to…

I lifted weights like I was supposed to…

 

I food prepped the way I was supposed to…

I ate the way I was supposed to…

 

And I only lost 2.6 pounds!

 

	Last	This	Pounds Lost	Total	% Weight
Week	Week	Week	This Week	Pounds Lost	Loss to Date
1	303	294	9	9	2.97%
2	294	287.2	6.8	15.8	5.37%
3	287.2	284.6	2.6	18.4	6.41%

 

Now before everyone gets their lecture on I know that by mere mortal standards this is a good thing. I know that at this weekly rate I would lose 135 pounds in a year. I know that you put weight on slowly and should take it off slowly. I know this shows the effectiveness of the Wellness Revolution program. I know for the first time in years I am deflating instead of inflating… blah, blah, blah….

But I’m still not happy.  I’ve discovered that eating healthy, exercising and losing weight is a bit like an addictive drug. I’ve had my first taste and now I want more and frankly for me it feels like it is never enough.

The sane sensible side of me understands the blah, blah, blah and will not allow me to back off of the Wellness Revolution.  The classes are great and the dietary education will be life changing for Deb and I.

So like all good parties this pity party must end. I promise to set far more reasonable and well measured expectations for my weight loss goals from this point forward.

I had hoped to hit the 20 pounds lost mark this week and be in the 270’s next week- so now I’ll just hit both of those marks next week. Oh well- so much for promises!   🙂

I am a Habitual Offender

As I’ve progressed into week two of this “Wellness Revolution” through the Nashua Athletic Club I have found this program to be very helpful because it’s emphasis is not just on exercise and nutrition. It also challenges you to look at the causation of why you are in your current state of physical disrepair. The reality is that anyone can diet and lose weight. Anyone can spend a period of time eating in a healthy manner as well. What is far less likely is sustain a person’s ability to sustain any positive results as we will fall back into old habits if we do not address them and rectify them.

I have terrible dietary habits that I have developed over many years. I walk by the candy dish at home and grab a piece. Habit.  Going to the mall means stopping at Dairy Queen. Habit. Supersizing meals. Habit. Going to the movies means popcorn and candy. Habit. Eating out means ordering a beer. Habit. Frankly this list can go on and on but what needs to be addressed is how these habits are impacting my health.

For me this week my great awakening related to habits occurred this past Sunday morning. Our usual habit is to stop at Dunkin Donuts on our way to church. This saves us time and even when we have time we do it now because it is purely instinctive. On the previous Sunday I had just started food logging and had indeed done the Dunkin’s thing. This Sunday I was on board with the healthier eating and we made sure we had time to eat at home before church. Now what flows is math and I hate math but in this case the numbers can make a difference.

Previous Sunday:

My usual intake =’s one glazed donut, one chocolate glazed donut and an orange juice. The total caloric intake per my food logging app was 870 calories!

This past Sunday:

With the new healthier eating mindset I made sure that I had time to prepare out breakfast at home. I made scrambled egg whites with red and yellow peppers. The total caloric intake per my food logging app was 334 calories!

Here’s where the math theory gets complex so try to focus!

The difference in calories between the two weeks was 536 calories.  If  I chose to stop the old Dunkin’s habit and start the new healthier cooking/eating habit then over a fifty-two week period changing that one meal per week would save me 27,872 calories. I’ve searched numerous sites on the web as to how many calories that you have to eat to gain a pound or burn to lose a pound and the general consensus was 3,500 calories.

 Simply changing a single dietary habit over a one year period could produce an eight pound swing in my weight, (7.963428571428571 pounds to be exact!)

So imagine what the possibilities could be if I changed a lot of bad habits and directed them to good. The potential change could be beyond imagine and necessitate a whole new wardrobe!

Math lesson over!

I am a fan of the web and have been using YouTube quite a bit for healthy cooking ideas and methods. I thought I’d share what we made for dinner yesterday. I have to say that it tasted as good as it looked and was much, much lower calorically than what would have been a normal dinner for us.

In the foreground are simple chicken breasts. I coated them with one teaspoon of honey and just a dash of soy sauce before grilling them. In the background are baked sweet potato fries, Deb peels them, partially cooks them in the microwave until they start to get soft. She then slices them, seasons them and rolls them in about one tablespoon of olive oil. They are then baked and they are both delicious and healthy – go figure!

Week 2 Results:

Overall I am pretty happy with the week two results. Of course I always wish that it was more but 6.8 pounds isn’t too shabby. One of the ways I try to quantify my weight loss is to compare it with something else. Imagine yourself going to the grocery store and you have to stoop down to grab a bag of sugar off the bottom shelf. Imagine how heavy that five pound bag feels and then imagine that in three weeks I’ve lost the weight of over three of those bags!

	Last	This	Pounds Lost	Total	% Weight
Week	Week	Week	This Week	Pounds Lost	Loss to Date
1	303	294	9	9	2.97%
2	294	287.2	6.8	15.8	5.37%

So off into week three I go. I am hoping that progress continues and between the exercise and this weeks “whole food cleanse” I’ll have more positive results to report next week!

If anyone has any thoughts, questions please feel free to leave a comment so we can all learn from it!

Time to get back on the horse!

Ok- it has been about six months since I last posted to this site and it is time for me to get back on the horse and resume the ride.  A lot has happened in six months that has both elements of very good and very bad.

On the good side is the site itself! It has done very well without me and in the one year since I started it there have been over 200,000 hits. Currently the average daily hit count is 1,000+. Far less to do with my brilliant and inspirational writing and far more to do with the draw of people who like to look at the funny pictures that are posted her.

While that statement is more true than not the site still does get some legitimate readers who, based upon posted comments, do indeed read the content and are motivated enough by that content to either praise me or cuss me out. For your information I do delete the posts with excessive vulgarity!

Continuing with the good are issues related to job, family and general life issues. It does amaze me how I am blessed beyond words.  Every day is a struggle in one manner or another but I face that struggle with great family, friends, Church and job.

The “very bad” side of things is singular in nature. It’s a dirty four letter word called knee- specifically left knee. I won’t bore with the full story but as was posted months ago on this site I started to develop worsening knee pain after I started running in this weight loss effort. The problem was diagnosed and surgery was performed, In my opinion the surgical effort was flawed and now I have been advised that I need full knee replacement.

What that situation has brought about is knee pain that runs from simply bad to sometimes unbearable. The end result is that I haven’t been able to exercise to any real degree and with that I have surrendered back much that I have lost. It’s difficult to accept that because I had been feeling so good physically and had worked so hard – just to have that injury suck my enthusiasm out of this effort.

God does provide though. I have wanted to get back at this weight loss effort but could never quite find the kick in the pants to get moving again. Well this past Sunday Janet kicked me in the pants! We were visiting my brother in-law’s Church in Exeter when my sister introduced me to her friend Janet who was an avid reader of “I’m Way 2 Fat” when I posted regularly. She mentioned that she missed reading the posts and like an idiot I promised her I’d write something this week! So here I am holding to my promise- and thanks to Janet I am ready to resume my walk back to health!

My plan is that next week I will weigh in and post the sad results here just as I had in the past. I never lied in the past and I won’t next week either no matter how ugly it might be! It’s unlikely that I’ll post every day due to time constraints with my new job but I will post at least once a week so I can list my results. If possible I’ll post more.

So if anyone still has an interest in reading about this renewed journey feel free to check in. If you want to join me in the walk back to health please do. If you’re new to the site look through some of the old posts – if nothing else the pictures are entertaining.

Daily fat humor:

You’re so fat when you were in school you sat next to everyone!

You’re so fat you’re on both sides of the family.

You’re so fat your blood type is o-reo

You’re so fat you have to iron your clothes on the freeway

You’re so fat they had to baptize you at sea world

A Great Tragedy and Unthinkable Loss

Sorry folks but this is not a light hearted post with funny pictures that you are normally accustomed to. The topic is definitely a relevant one given the nature of this blog as it has to do with obesity and how others react to it. In this case to an extreme that led to the worst of possible outcomes- one young man dead by his own hand. A tragic loss of life that leaves nothing but devastation and heartache in its path.

Some of you may have read in the news this past week about the death of Private Keiffer P. Wilhelm at an Army base in Iraq. Only 19 years old Keiffer had arrived in Iraq just ten days before. No doubt he was experiencing many feelings including pride at serving, apprehension at being in a war zone and he was likely missing his family too for Keiffer was just a kid, A kid who chose to serve his country in a war zone while others his age were looking forward to their first college frat party.

It is reported that upon his arrival at his base in Iraq he was perceived to be overweight by some of his superior officers. As a result it is reported that these four superior officers “… abused Wilhelm with excessive physical fitness, said Lt. Col. Kevin Olson, a military spokesman. One defense official told NBC News that Wilhelm eventually stopped going to public areas to avoid being harassed repeatedly for being overweight.”

Ten days into his deployment to Iraq this young patriot entered a portable toilet with his rifle and ended his life. The superior officers have been charged with various crimes by the military that can result in imprisonment for terms of up to 25 years.

This story touches me on so many different levels and leaves me feeling conflicted:

• I have two boys in the military- one of whom serves at Fort Bliss in Texas which is the same base that Keiffer and his antagonists were based at.
• I have been personally touched by the incredible tragedy that is suicide – especially by a young person.
• I have experienced the ability of people to be cruel – even publicly so- regarding me being overweight.

Yet…

The military is a unique organization where physical requirements are necessary and where dishing out excessive exercise to those not meeting standards is more the norm than it is the unusual.  How will criminal charges being meted out to these officers impact the mindset of other officers in the execution of their duties going forward?

I am not Barack Obama. I will not admit that I am without all of the facts and then proffer an opinion in this matter. I was not there and I have learned that there is always more to the story than that which is presented.  Were the actions of these officers excessive? I don’t know. Were there other underlying or contributing reasons for Keiffer making a dreadful and tragic choice? I don’t know!

Here is what I do know- tragedy flows from all portions of this story. There are far more victims of this circumstance than just Keiffer. This young soldier’s decision will leave his family and friends forever wondering why and what if only…

The Officers that have been charged likely had many years of honorable service as patriots for their country that has now been washed away. Justice may or may not be served but their lives too are forever changed in a horrible, horrible way that no doubt will leave them also wondering for the rest of their lives why and what if only…

http://www.norwalkreflector.com/articles/2009/08/21/front/doc4a8efe36c0d90479457860.txt