Desire and Reality in Conflict

October 13, 2012

 

Fourteen weeks into this life changing effort I am amazed at my mental and physical transformation. I started out at 303 pounds and could easily be winded just using the remote control.  Now I am at the gym five to six times a week. Nutritional wisdom is a now cornerstone of my life and my diet is spot on.

To continue to challenge myself I started an “Air Squat Challenge” on my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/events/410434935686302/   I stole this idea from someone else with after the fact permission. The challenge to me and many of my friends was to commit to completing 100 air squats a day for thirty days. For me I was thinking that in addition to what I was already doing this would be an added spark for me physically. My guru Carolyn Maul has said that your body easily adapts to the same workouts and that you need to keep mixing it up- thus this effort.

At this point in my journey I feel as though I am now a fat athlete.  As an example last night I did my one hundred air squats, spent thirty minutes on the elliptical, went straight to thirty minutes on the stationary bike and then directly to forty minutes on the treadmill.

Basically this week like every of the previous thirteen weeks I laid it all out for this effort. These days at least Monday through Friday my day consists of:

  • waking up
  • going to work for 11-12 hours
  • coming home and having dinner
  • going to the gym for between 1 ½ to 2 hours or more
  • coming home to shower and then collapse into sleep
  • Repeat cycle at least five time or more

So the point of all of this is that I remain intensely focused on my goals and there isn’t a chance that I’m going to turn back to the old me. My focus is still laser sharp but I do request the indulgence of being pretty seriously pissed today! After adding the Air Squat Challenge, continuing the great dietary habits and exhausting workouts this week I lost just .6 pounds! That’s right- there’s a period in front of the six!

Are you freaking kidding me!?!?!

Last This Pounds Lost Total % Weight
Week Week Week This Week Pounds Lost Loss to Date
1 303 294 9 9 2.97%
2 294 287.2 6.8 15.8 5.37%
3 287.2 284.6 2.6 18.4 6.41%
4 284.6 279.4 5.2 23.6 8.29%
5 279.4 276.8 2.6 26.2 9.38%
6 276.8 272 4.8 31 11.20%
7 272 269.8 2.2 33.2 12.21%
8 269.8 266.8 3 36.2 13.42%
9 266.8 266.6 0.2 36.4 13.64%
10 266.6 258 8.6 45 16.88%
11 258 256.6 1.4 46.4 17.98%
12 256.6 253.2 3.4 49.8 19.41%
13 253.2 251 2.2 52 20.54%
14 251 250.4 0.6 52.6 20.96%

 

God presents us with opportunities and challenges and despite the desires of man we don’t always get what we think that we deserve. There is a reason why this is and I don’t have a clue as to what that reason is. It may be a test to determine my true will and my true desire. To be sure my true will and desire is to continue to do everything that I can to succeed in this process and to stop being the fat man that I was who was full of excuses why it was so.

I am exceedingly thankful for the .6 pounds that I lost last week and for the 52.6 pounds I have lost overall.

The journey continues unabated!

 

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My Body is a Jerk!

September 29, 2012

It’s been two weeks since my last post and during that time I have learned that my body is a real jerk! It has managed to show me who is in control and insists upon wanting me to fall just short of my expectations and desires.

Two weeks ago I started the week with incredibly high expectations. I had just lost 8.6 pounds the week before and I was certain that if I just ratcheted my workouts up a notch I could lose even more weight during that week. As always my diet was spot on and I was obsessive hitting the gym for six straight nights. And as a reward for my efforts my body only gave up 1.4 pounds! That’s right- a whopping 22 ounces!

While I wasn’t thrilled I was still happy with some weight loss. I also took comfort in the knowledge that I was very close to hitting the 50 pounds lost mark and that was on my mind as my target goal all week. I see 50 pounds lost as being a large milestone and it was within reach. I worked out hard all week and of course ate right and was sure I would get there. With great excitement I jumped on the scale this morning looking for that magical awe inspiring 50 pound mark- and what did I lose in total? 49.8 pounds! If these two weeks don’t prove that my body is a jerk then I don’t know what does!

So as I head into week 13 I’m looking forward to not one but two potential milestones next week. I could indeed pass the 50 pound mark and if the jerk lets me I could break into the 240’s as well.

Below is the spreadsheet tracking my process so far:

Last

This

Pounds Lost

Total

% Weight

Week

Week

Week

This Week

Pounds Lost

Loss to Date

1

303

294

9

9

2.97%

2

294

287.2

6.8

15.8

5.37%

3

287.2

284.6

2.6

18.4

6.41%

4

284.6

279.4

5.2

23.6

8.29%

5

279.4

276.8

2.6

26.2

9.38%

6

276.8

272

4.8

31

11.20%

7

272

269.8

2.2

33.2

12.21%

8

269.8

266.8

3

36.2

13.42%

9

266.8

266.6

0.2

36.4

13.64%

10

266.6

258

8.6

45

16.88%

11

258

256.6

1.4

46.4

17.98%

12

256.6

253.2

3.4

49.8

19.41%

 

General observations:

 

Overall I am very, very happy with my progress so far. If anyone had told my 303 pound self twelve weeks ago that I would have been where I am today I would have questioned their sanity. Sadly I let myself get to the point where I still have about 50 pounds to go but I am absolutely certain that I will get there. Even if I could average 2.5 pounds per week lost from this point on I would be there in just 20 weeks.

That which is both frustrating and exciting are the challenges I am having with clothes now. Everything from 12 weeks ago is way to big now. My pants look like clown pants and my shirts are huge. This has created a lot of extra expense which is frustrating because I’ll be in the same position when I lose the next 50 pounds!

 

Every day it becomes more and more clear to me that this process is far more about the exercise of the mind rather than that of the body. Personal focus and clarity of mind and goals must come first and then the nutrition, diet and body will follow.

An example occurred last night. Short story is that there was a family medical emergency with my Dad that had me traveling out of state to a hospital and back in the same day with about seven hours in the car. It was a miserable day in every aspect and I didn’t get home until 9:45 pm. Few people would have faulted me for calling it a day but I have made a conscious effort to give up on excuses. I am fat and no longer desire to be so and there’s only one person that can change that. Me! By 10pm I was down at the gym and did not get back home until midnight.  It sucked like a Dyson but it was simultaneously exhilarating to have punched another excuse in the face!

So on to week 13. On to the 50+ pound mark. On to the 240’s. And if that jerk gets in my way again he’s going to suffer the fate as my excuses.


Good News – Bad News

September 15, 2012

 

Like all things in life not everything is perfectly good or completely bad. So it is with my Wellness Revolution journey. Lets just jump right in for a review of things since my last post.

 

Good news

This post today is the 100th post I have put up since the inception of this blog. The stat counter at this point puts the historical hits on this site at over 466,000. During its most recent incarnation I am averaging 150-200 hits per day. The purpose of this site has always been partly for my benefit but equally for the benefit of others who share similar struggles with their weight. My sincere hope is that somewhere in those 466,000 + hits some people may have found the site to be somewhat funny, informative and helpful

Bad News

I know that “we all have the same 24 hours in a day” but life has been very, very busy for me as of late and as such I have missed two weeks of posting. As in any life situation you have to make choices as to where to alleviate pressure and free up time and regrettably the posting of this blog has been sacrificed in favor of other life related needs. What I can tell you is that the blog was on vacation but my weight loss efforts were not…

Good News

I have yet to have a week where I haven’t lost weight but two weigh-ins ago I came perilously close with a whopping .2 pound weight loss! I think that a small part of that may have been a natural plateau that can occur during wight loss but the greatest factor was exercise frequency. My nutrition/diet is still spot on and about as perfect as you can get but that week I only worked out once.

Good News

The minimal weight loss week was a kick in the pants to me. I wasn’t happy about it and I resoubled my efforts with the amount of time at the gym and the intensity of what I was doing there. As a result this  weeks results were more than good news- they were great news! For this past week I lost 8.6 pounds for a total of 45 pounds lost in just ten weeks. I broke into the 250’s for the first time in over three years and I am incrredibly motivated to carry on.

As a reminder my motivation for starting this effort was a story in the Nashua Telegrah about a man who lost 100 pounds in six months. He did it thanks to Carolyn Maul and the Wellness Revoluton program at the Nashua Athletic Club. I swear by that program and the abilities of Carolyn Maul.

http://www.nashuaathleticclub.com/8-week-wellness-revolution-program/

http://carolynmaul.com/

I would have never dreamed that I could be on pace to do what that man did in six month but I am. While I don’t imagine that I will match his efforts within that time period I am certain that I will achieve my complete goal regardless of the time that it takes me to finish the journey.

 

 

Last

This

Pounds Lost

Total

% Weight

Week

Week

Week

This Week

Pounds Lost

Loss to Date

1

303

294

9

9

2.97%

2

294

287.2

6.8

15.8

5.37%

3

287.2

284.6

2.6

18.4

6.41%

4

284.6

279.4

5.2

23.6

8.29%

5

279.4

276.8

2.6

26.2

9.38%

6

276.8

272

4.8

31

11.20%

7

272

269.8

2.2

33.2

12.21%

8

269.8

266.8

3

36.2

13.42%

9

266.8

266.6

0.2

36.4

13.64%

10

266.6

258

8.6

45

16.88%

 

Bad News

My wardrobe is a wreck! A problem that I had never imagined was having clothes that are too big. The picture above relates to the reaction that my wife has when looking at some of my clothes. The problem is that I don’t want to spend money on new clothes when I am only about half way to where I need to be. The one specific problem that does need to be addressed relates to a brand new suit that I bought and had tailored just before I started this effort. It was to serve a dual purpose which was for me niece’s wedding at that time and my son’s wedding next month. I have just tried it on and it looks ridiculous now. I have to hope that they can alter it downward substantially or I will need to buy a new suit after just one wearing.

Bad News (actually shameful news)

 

 

The other day at the gym I picked up a 40 pound dumbbell because that’s how much I had lost at that point. I was amazed at how heavy it was and then even more amazed that at that point I had lost that much pure, unadulterated fat! I am even beyond that mark by five pounds now and I must say that my level of weight loss accomplishment is tempered with a great deal of humility and shame.

How could I have let myself get to the point where I had disrespected myself and endangered my health by allowing 100 pounds of fat to attach itself to my body? Yes it happened slowly. Yes it happened over a long period of time. But it still happened and I allowed it to happen. There are no excuses to be had here for no one forced the food into me and no one tied me to a couch!

The BEST NEWS

I have always told others that yesterday does not matter because you can’t change history. All that really matters is what you do with each new day forward for that is what you can change and make a difference in. With that being said I end this 100th post looking forward. Looking forward to appropriate weight, better health and a new beginning. Or more succinctly as Carolyn Maul says it- it’s all about

“Snatching my sexy back!”

 

 

 

 

 

 


Laser Focus

August 25, 2012

I am a week behind as I did not post last week. Frankly I should have because it was a good week but I just ran out of time and couldn’t get it done.

My theme for this week is focus. More specifically it is “laser focus.” I am currently in a mindset where there is no turning back on this “Wellness Revolution.”  I am seven weeks into the eight week program with Carolyn Maul at the Nashua Athletic Club and the classes have served me well. I have learned that there is more to weight loss than just dieting and exercise. Nutrition is now an integral part of my life and frankly I have no sense of, nor desire to turn back to the old me.

When I went into Wednesday night’s class I was feeling especially confident in how far I have come and more importantly on where I am going! When talking about it with Carolyn she said that she could see a “laser focus” in me now. While she might have been overly kind with her words I don’t think that it’s too far off the mark.

In seven weeks I find myself already one third of the way to my goal- but the reality is that this shouldn’t and isn’t a numbers based effort. If I think of an end mark then that would tempt me to consider that this effort will one day be over. The reality is that it will never be over. Much like an alcoholic who can’t risk a single drink I too must be vigilant about my health and weight for the rest of my life.

Am I proud of how I’ve done so far? Of course I am. Even with how great I feel and my weight loss to date I have simply just gone from being really fat to just fat. I still have to power through the pretty fat, kind of fat and chunky state of life before I get to where I need to be!

So with that I must continue to journey on down this road of change. Unlike Dorothy my road isn’t paved with yellow bricks. My road is paved with nutrition, exercise, lots of sweat and did I mention focus? Laser focus to be exact!

Weekly results:

As I didn’t post last week here are the results for the past two weeks. Two weeks ago I lost 4.8 pounds and this past week I lost 2.2 pounds for a seven week total of 33.2 pounds and 12.21% overall weight loss. As I was looking at this chart I saw a familiar pattern in the numbers. From week two on I have had a big loss week followed by a small loss week for six straight weeks. I’m not sure what to make of that but I am hopeful that if the pattern continues I should have a great week this week.

Also of note is the fact that for the first time in a long time I am in the 260’s, (just barely). If someone had told me seven weeks ago that at 303 pounds I could be where I am already I would have thought them crazy.

Last

This

Pounds Lost

Total

% Weight

Week

Week

Week

This Week

Pounds Lost

Loss to Date

1

303

294

9

9

2.97%

2

294

287.2

6.8

15.8

5.37%

3

287.2

284.6

2.6

18.4

6.41%

4

284.6

279.4

5.2

23.6

8.29%

5

279.4

276.8

2.6

26.2

9.38%

6

276.8

272

4.8

31

11.20%

7

272

269.8

2.2

33.2

12.21%


If Pounds Were Miles…

August 11, 2012

If a pound was a mile I would have lost the equivalent of a marathon in the first five weeks of my “Wellness Revolution!” This past week I lost 2.6 pounds for a total of 26.2 pounds lost thus far as listed in the chart below:

Last This Pounds Lost Total % Weight
Week Week Week This Week Pounds Lost Loss to Date
1 303 294 9 9 2.97%
2 294 287.2 6.8 15.8 5.37%
3 287.2 284.6 2.6 18.4 6.41%
4 284.6 279.4 5.2 23.6 8.29%
5 279.4 276.8 2.6 26.2 9.38%

While I tied my lowest weekly weight loss to date I could now be happier with it. If you recall in my post last week I was whining and worried about my results this week because Deb and I were going away for a long weekend. As a result all meals for three days would be ordered from a restaurant and that which is becoming routine for me now would be thrown into disarray which I viewed as a big challenge for me.

My weekly point of enlightenment came when Carolyn Maul read the blog and emailed me politely asking me to adjust my attitude.  She said that instead of viewing the upcoming week as being a “challenge” it was better to view it as an “opportunity.” So that’s how I went into the week viewing these circumstances as an opportunity. An opportunity  to demonstrate that I am still in control of my actions, diet and exercise! (By the way- Carolyn has updated her web site – take a look:  http://carolynmaul.com/ )

The biggest “opportunity” I faced was eating out for so many meals. The one thing I discovered quickly was that no matter what type of restaurant we went into at any time of day I would immediately look at the kinds of meals I would have normally ordered. As a result there is no question as to how I became fat! Quite literally there was not a single meal that I would have normally ordered that was within a country mile of being healthy.

The bottom line is that I am in control of the food that enters my body and therefore making sound nutritional choices not just for today but into my future will make me a more fit. As a result I will one day soon be a healthy man free of blood pressure and cholesterol meds.  I know that the weight loss wasn’t huge this week but it was healthy loss.  While I desire big numbers every week I recognize that I got fat over a long period of time and slimming down will indeed take time as well.

The one thing I can tell you is that although I’m still fat I feel much, much better. I have more energy and already I’m able to reach into the dark depths of my closet to start wearing clothes that have been unavailable for wear in a long, long time.

So into the next week I go. I know have a great understanding of what I need to do and the plan is to continue to exercise that plan from this point forward, (pun intended). If any of you are reading this and thinking that you are beyond hope please think again.  Reach out to others for help and support while removing yourself from negative people and negative influences. Be patient and look at every small step in the right direction as being a great blessing and benefit for yourself!


I Lost a Turkey!

August 4, 2012

Today’s post has to be pretty short because my wife and I are heading out of town for the weekend. That in itself will produce numerous challenges for me regarding weight loss in the coming week. I have started to settle into a daily and weekly routine to support “The Wellness Revolution.” Daily routine and patterns have made it easier to eat properly and on a precise schedule. That will be far more difficult this week.


Additionally Sunday is food purchase and food prep day. We go to three separate places to buy the specific food that we need. There is then a time of preparing a lot of our food for the work week ahead. That probably takes at least three hours of time. As we will not be in town on Sunday I have not yet figured out how we will adjust to that. I also have a meeting at church on Tuesday night that will effectively eliminate one night at the gym. I think I’ll call this challenge week!

 

My weekly attitudinal adjustment came shortly after last week’s post I wasn’t happy about the amount of weight I had lost and I got a supportive email from my trainer Carolyn Maul who runs the Wellness Revolution program through the Nashua Athletic Club. Part of the email talked about setting realistic expectations regarding weekly weight loss. She also talked about the man who she had trained and whom I had read about in the Nashua Telegraph that had lost so much weight in such a short period of time: http://www.telegraphneighbors.com/localnews/966461-147/man-drops-100-pounds-in-6-months.html?CSAuthResp=1234%3A%3A5000%3A257%3A24%3Aapproved%3A748801ABF57441070238AEAD407A5FAA

The quote from her email that resonated with me the most was that he had only been successful at this effort because “…that was him busting ass at the gym 5x week.” I realized that while I was going to the gym on occasion I certainly wasn’t doing it as regularly or with as maximum of an effort as I needed.

This week I worked at being more consistent with that effort and it paid some dividends for me.

I always like to create a visual image for me to help me understand how much weight I have last in either a weekly or effort to date time period. This week I realized that when we host a Thanksgiving dinner I always look for the biggest turkey that I can find- at the least one over twenty pounds. I then picture how heavy that turkey is when I sling it into the shopping cart and now I imagine that being how much less I weigh today vs. before The Wellness Revolution.

 

Weekly results:

So this week I lost 5.2 pounds for a four week total of 23.6 pounds with a weight loss percentage of 8.29%. I can’t remember the last time the 270’s and I met!  Obviously I’m very happy with that but I am wise enough to know that this was a very good week with a consistent schedule. This week will be different with a lot more challenges so I don’t know what to expect for next week. If I escape next week with a more realistic loss of a couple of pounds I will consider myself blessed!

Last This Pounds Lost Total % Weight
Week Week Week This Week Pounds Lost Loss to Date
1 303 294 9 9 2.97%
2 294 287.2 6.8 15.8 5.37%
3 287.2 284.6 2.6 18.4 6.41%
4 284.6 279.4 5.2 23.6 8.29%

 


The disappointment of a fat man….

July 28, 2012

 

 

Ok- this one is going to be short and sweet because frankly I’m not in a very good mood! This past week I did everything that I was supposed to.

I did cardio like I was supposed to…

I lifted weights like I was supposed to…

 

I food prepped the way I was supposed to…

I ate the way I was supposed to…

 

And I only lost 2.6 pounds!

 

Last

This

Pounds Lost

Total

% Weight

Week

Week

Week

This Week

Pounds Lost

Loss to Date

1

303

294

9

9

2.97%

2

294

287.2

6.8

15.8

5.37%

3

287.2

284.6

2.6

18.4

6.41%

 

Now before everyone gets their lecture on I know that by mere mortal standards this is a good thing. I know that at this weekly rate I would lose 135 pounds in a year. I know that you put weight on slowly and should take it off slowly. I know this shows the effectiveness of the Wellness Revolution program. I know for the first time in years I am deflating instead of inflating… blah, blah, blah….

But I’m still not happy.  I’ve discovered that eating healthy, exercising and losing weight is a bit like an addictive drug. I’ve had my first taste and now I want more and frankly for me it feels like it is never enough.

The sane sensible side of me understands the blah, blah, blah and will not allow me to back off of the Wellness Revolution.  The classes are great and the dietary education will be life changing for Deb and I.

So like all good parties this pity party must end. I promise to set far more reasonable and well measured expectations for my weight loss goals from this point forward.

I had hoped to hit the 20 pounds lost mark this week and be in the 270’s next week- so now I’ll just hit both of those marks next week. Oh well- so much for promises!   🙂