Fat Man Deja-Vu

August 7, 2016

yogi

Let me start with some facts and history about this blog. My last real post was on October 13th 2012 so for those bad with calendars or math that was almost four years ago.

I have written a total of 104 posts and this site has seen over one half million hits, (510,143 to be exact.) Through the years this site has helped me immensely with my struggles with weight gain and weight loss. I used both humor and brutal personal honesty as a tool to motivate myself. And then I simply stopped…

I eventually decided that the blog was too much work and I was ready to proceed on my own without leaning on this site. To some degree I was right. I had a good understanding about how nutrition, exercise and the proper mindset could get you healthy. I started the blog at a record high personal weight of 303 pounds. As of a year and a half ago I was at a record low of 238 pounds. I had learned to love road cycling and was able to cycle up to 50 miles in a single day and with that new found love the weight continued to drop. I loved the new me. I looked as great as a goon like me could look and I felt great. Best of all I had pulled the love of my life- my wife along on the journey.

Then life happened.

I have had many years of problems with my left knee including a failed knee replacement. The problem with knees is that they come in pairs and my right knee totally gave up on me in early 2015. The short story is that I had a knee replacement early in 2015 and again it did not go well. I ended up in the operating room four times in 2015 for the knee and as a bonus developed a post-surgical intestinal blockage that nearly killed me.

All in all I was out of work and laid up for six months. I finally made it back to work and was happy to have that behind me when five days into work I went home healthy and woke up that night with a massive heart attack! The artery that serves the back of my heart was 100% blocked. My not dying that night was truly a gift from God. For those interested in reading about my heart attack experience please follow this link:

 

http://wp.me/poE6T-i8

 

With all of that background here’s where the proverbial rubber meets the road… After my heart attack I felt that I had a gift that I did not want to squander. I wanted to spend many more years with my wife and with my recently born grandson a.k.a. Calvin the Great:

 

Yet here is what really happened. I instead caved in to excuses and fear. Excuses are just that… I was unhappy with my job and went through a radical job change… my job prevented me from going through the strongly recommended cardiac rehab program, now both knees are trash and simply walking can be difficulty let alone exercise, the list could go on and on but they are what they are – simply excuses.

As to the fear- that is real. I fear that as I now try to exercise I will suffer another heart attack. Even a potentially fatal heart attack. I have read studies that a lot of heart attack survivors can actually suffer from a type of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD.)  If that’s the case I think that I’m there.

I recently had a follow-up appointment with the cardiologist that saved my life a few weeks ago. The guy who got out of bed at 3AM to save my life- Dr. Boffetti.

dr boffetti

He of course talked to me about my weight gain after the heart attack and I expressed my fears. I asked him “when I’m exercising now and I feel like I’m going to die is it because I’m fat and out of shape or because I’m going to die?” His not so comforting yet honest reply was that he didn’t know.  I now have two stents in my heart that cleared up that particular blockage but there were other areas of concern. He said that statistically speaking not many folks drop dead while exercising after the fact but he felt the risk/benefit analysis was definitely on the side of exercise and weight loss. Despite that I did nothing.

 

So why now?

Two factors really. One is that a couple of weeks ago I was at my best buddy’s house. While being a terrible looking man he is a caring man.

tom

Fearing that one day he may need to carry my lard ass in a casket he started pushing me hard about getting healthy again. He really pushed me to start the blog again because he knew it helped me and that it had helped others. I almost did it. Instead I did nothing.

Then this happened… A dear friend of ours is named Mike.

mike

 

Mike’s an amazing young guy in his early thirties with an awesome wife who is also a dear friend of ours. He has two beautiful small children who love him and need him dearly. Then Mike, being the silly guy

he is had a massive heart attack as well. Mike, like me, is very, very lucky to be alive!

Upon hearing of Mike’s terrible scare I found myself wanting to be a fount of wisdom for both he and his wife about what he needs to do, how he should act and the importance of him regaining his health for his sake and the sake of his family. Yet I realized that offering such advice simply made me a hypocrite!

I was happy to direct him on his course but I was unwilling to chart my own and thereby refusing to lead from the front. I have rarely caved into fear and have done some pretty ballsy things in my time but no as of late. As of late I’ve been scared and full of excuses

So for Tom, and Mike and most of all for me I choose to shake off the fear and embrace hope for my future. Today I weigh in at 295 pounds and I choose to go no higher.  I’ll try to post my progress at least once a week and I hope that all of you will hold me accountable going forward. And as always for others struggling to get healthy please join me on the journey,

Most of my posts are funny. This one not so much. Stay tuned for a return to the normal format next week.


2013 in review

January 26, 2014

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 12,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 4 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.


2012 in review

December 30, 2012

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 56,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 13 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.


Desire and Reality in Conflict

October 13, 2012

 

Fourteen weeks into this life changing effort I am amazed at my mental and physical transformation. I started out at 303 pounds and could easily be winded just using the remote control.  Now I am at the gym five to six times a week. Nutritional wisdom is a now cornerstone of my life and my diet is spot on.

To continue to challenge myself I started an “Air Squat Challenge” on my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/events/410434935686302/   I stole this idea from someone else with after the fact permission. The challenge to me and many of my friends was to commit to completing 100 air squats a day for thirty days. For me I was thinking that in addition to what I was already doing this would be an added spark for me physically. My guru Carolyn Maul has said that your body easily adapts to the same workouts and that you need to keep mixing it up- thus this effort.

At this point in my journey I feel as though I am now a fat athlete.  As an example last night I did my one hundred air squats, spent thirty minutes on the elliptical, went straight to thirty minutes on the stationary bike and then directly to forty minutes on the treadmill.

Basically this week like every of the previous thirteen weeks I laid it all out for this effort. These days at least Monday through Friday my day consists of:

  • waking up
  • going to work for 11-12 hours
  • coming home and having dinner
  • going to the gym for between 1 ½ to 2 hours or more
  • coming home to shower and then collapse into sleep
  • Repeat cycle at least five time or more

So the point of all of this is that I remain intensely focused on my goals and there isn’t a chance that I’m going to turn back to the old me. My focus is still laser sharp but I do request the indulgence of being pretty seriously pissed today! After adding the Air Squat Challenge, continuing the great dietary habits and exhausting workouts this week I lost just .6 pounds! That’s right- there’s a period in front of the six!

Are you freaking kidding me!?!?!

Last This Pounds Lost Total % Weight
Week Week Week This Week Pounds Lost Loss to Date
1 303 294 9 9 2.97%
2 294 287.2 6.8 15.8 5.37%
3 287.2 284.6 2.6 18.4 6.41%
4 284.6 279.4 5.2 23.6 8.29%
5 279.4 276.8 2.6 26.2 9.38%
6 276.8 272 4.8 31 11.20%
7 272 269.8 2.2 33.2 12.21%
8 269.8 266.8 3 36.2 13.42%
9 266.8 266.6 0.2 36.4 13.64%
10 266.6 258 8.6 45 16.88%
11 258 256.6 1.4 46.4 17.98%
12 256.6 253.2 3.4 49.8 19.41%
13 253.2 251 2.2 52 20.54%
14 251 250.4 0.6 52.6 20.96%

 

God presents us with opportunities and challenges and despite the desires of man we don’t always get what we think that we deserve. There is a reason why this is and I don’t have a clue as to what that reason is. It may be a test to determine my true will and my true desire. To be sure my true will and desire is to continue to do everything that I can to succeed in this process and to stop being the fat man that I was who was full of excuses why it was so.

I am exceedingly thankful for the .6 pounds that I lost last week and for the 52.6 pounds I have lost overall.

The journey continues unabated!

 


My Body is a Jerk!

September 29, 2012

It’s been two weeks since my last post and during that time I have learned that my body is a real jerk! It has managed to show me who is in control and insists upon wanting me to fall just short of my expectations and desires.

Two weeks ago I started the week with incredibly high expectations. I had just lost 8.6 pounds the week before and I was certain that if I just ratcheted my workouts up a notch I could lose even more weight during that week. As always my diet was spot on and I was obsessive hitting the gym for six straight nights. And as a reward for my efforts my body only gave up 1.4 pounds! That’s right- a whopping 22 ounces!

While I wasn’t thrilled I was still happy with some weight loss. I also took comfort in the knowledge that I was very close to hitting the 50 pounds lost mark and that was on my mind as my target goal all week. I see 50 pounds lost as being a large milestone and it was within reach. I worked out hard all week and of course ate right and was sure I would get there. With great excitement I jumped on the scale this morning looking for that magical awe inspiring 50 pound mark- and what did I lose in total? 49.8 pounds! If these two weeks don’t prove that my body is a jerk then I don’t know what does!

So as I head into week 13 I’m looking forward to not one but two potential milestones next week. I could indeed pass the 50 pound mark and if the jerk lets me I could break into the 240’s as well.

Below is the spreadsheet tracking my process so far:

Last

This

Pounds Lost

Total

% Weight

Week

Week

Week

This Week

Pounds Lost

Loss to Date

1

303

294

9

9

2.97%

2

294

287.2

6.8

15.8

5.37%

3

287.2

284.6

2.6

18.4

6.41%

4

284.6

279.4

5.2

23.6

8.29%

5

279.4

276.8

2.6

26.2

9.38%

6

276.8

272

4.8

31

11.20%

7

272

269.8

2.2

33.2

12.21%

8

269.8

266.8

3

36.2

13.42%

9

266.8

266.6

0.2

36.4

13.64%

10

266.6

258

8.6

45

16.88%

11

258

256.6

1.4

46.4

17.98%

12

256.6

253.2

3.4

49.8

19.41%

 

General observations:

 

Overall I am very, very happy with my progress so far. If anyone had told my 303 pound self twelve weeks ago that I would have been where I am today I would have questioned their sanity. Sadly I let myself get to the point where I still have about 50 pounds to go but I am absolutely certain that I will get there. Even if I could average 2.5 pounds per week lost from this point on I would be there in just 20 weeks.

That which is both frustrating and exciting are the challenges I am having with clothes now. Everything from 12 weeks ago is way to big now. My pants look like clown pants and my shirts are huge. This has created a lot of extra expense which is frustrating because I’ll be in the same position when I lose the next 50 pounds!

 

Every day it becomes more and more clear to me that this process is far more about the exercise of the mind rather than that of the body. Personal focus and clarity of mind and goals must come first and then the nutrition, diet and body will follow.

An example occurred last night. Short story is that there was a family medical emergency with my Dad that had me traveling out of state to a hospital and back in the same day with about seven hours in the car. It was a miserable day in every aspect and I didn’t get home until 9:45 pm. Few people would have faulted me for calling it a day but I have made a conscious effort to give up on excuses. I am fat and no longer desire to be so and there’s only one person that can change that. Me! By 10pm I was down at the gym and did not get back home until midnight.  It sucked like a Dyson but it was simultaneously exhilarating to have punched another excuse in the face!

So on to week 13. On to the 50+ pound mark. On to the 240’s. And if that jerk gets in my way again he’s going to suffer the fate as my excuses.


Good News – Bad News

September 15, 2012

 

Like all things in life not everything is perfectly good or completely bad. So it is with my Wellness Revolution journey. Lets just jump right in for a review of things since my last post.

 

Good news

This post today is the 100th post I have put up since the inception of this blog. The stat counter at this point puts the historical hits on this site at over 466,000. During its most recent incarnation I am averaging 150-200 hits per day. The purpose of this site has always been partly for my benefit but equally for the benefit of others who share similar struggles with their weight. My sincere hope is that somewhere in those 466,000 + hits some people may have found the site to be somewhat funny, informative and helpful

Bad News

I know that “we all have the same 24 hours in a day” but life has been very, very busy for me as of late and as such I have missed two weeks of posting. As in any life situation you have to make choices as to where to alleviate pressure and free up time and regrettably the posting of this blog has been sacrificed in favor of other life related needs. What I can tell you is that the blog was on vacation but my weight loss efforts were not…

Good News

I have yet to have a week where I haven’t lost weight but two weigh-ins ago I came perilously close with a whopping .2 pound weight loss! I think that a small part of that may have been a natural plateau that can occur during wight loss but the greatest factor was exercise frequency. My nutrition/diet is still spot on and about as perfect as you can get but that week I only worked out once.

Good News

The minimal weight loss week was a kick in the pants to me. I wasn’t happy about it and I resoubled my efforts with the amount of time at the gym and the intensity of what I was doing there. As a result this  weeks results were more than good news- they were great news! For this past week I lost 8.6 pounds for a total of 45 pounds lost in just ten weeks. I broke into the 250’s for the first time in over three years and I am incrredibly motivated to carry on.

As a reminder my motivation for starting this effort was a story in the Nashua Telegrah about a man who lost 100 pounds in six months. He did it thanks to Carolyn Maul and the Wellness Revoluton program at the Nashua Athletic Club. I swear by that program and the abilities of Carolyn Maul.

http://www.nashuaathleticclub.com/8-week-wellness-revolution-program/

http://carolynmaul.com/

I would have never dreamed that I could be on pace to do what that man did in six month but I am. While I don’t imagine that I will match his efforts within that time period I am certain that I will achieve my complete goal regardless of the time that it takes me to finish the journey.

 

 

Last

This

Pounds Lost

Total

% Weight

Week

Week

Week

This Week

Pounds Lost

Loss to Date

1

303

294

9

9

2.97%

2

294

287.2

6.8

15.8

5.37%

3

287.2

284.6

2.6

18.4

6.41%

4

284.6

279.4

5.2

23.6

8.29%

5

279.4

276.8

2.6

26.2

9.38%

6

276.8

272

4.8

31

11.20%

7

272

269.8

2.2

33.2

12.21%

8

269.8

266.8

3

36.2

13.42%

9

266.8

266.6

0.2

36.4

13.64%

10

266.6

258

8.6

45

16.88%

 

Bad News

My wardrobe is a wreck! A problem that I had never imagined was having clothes that are too big. The picture above relates to the reaction that my wife has when looking at some of my clothes. The problem is that I don’t want to spend money on new clothes when I am only about half way to where I need to be. The one specific problem that does need to be addressed relates to a brand new suit that I bought and had tailored just before I started this effort. It was to serve a dual purpose which was for me niece’s wedding at that time and my son’s wedding next month. I have just tried it on and it looks ridiculous now. I have to hope that they can alter it downward substantially or I will need to buy a new suit after just one wearing.

Bad News (actually shameful news)

 

 

The other day at the gym I picked up a 40 pound dumbbell because that’s how much I had lost at that point. I was amazed at how heavy it was and then even more amazed that at that point I had lost that much pure, unadulterated fat! I am even beyond that mark by five pounds now and I must say that my level of weight loss accomplishment is tempered with a great deal of humility and shame.

How could I have let myself get to the point where I had disrespected myself and endangered my health by allowing 100 pounds of fat to attach itself to my body? Yes it happened slowly. Yes it happened over a long period of time. But it still happened and I allowed it to happen. There are no excuses to be had here for no one forced the food into me and no one tied me to a couch!

The BEST NEWS

I have always told others that yesterday does not matter because you can’t change history. All that really matters is what you do with each new day forward for that is what you can change and make a difference in. With that being said I end this 100th post looking forward. Looking forward to appropriate weight, better health and a new beginning. Or more succinctly as Carolyn Maul says it- it’s all about

“Snatching my sexy back!”

 

 

 

 

 

 


Laser Focus

August 25, 2012

I am a week behind as I did not post last week. Frankly I should have because it was a good week but I just ran out of time and couldn’t get it done.

My theme for this week is focus. More specifically it is “laser focus.” I am currently in a mindset where there is no turning back on this “Wellness Revolution.”  I am seven weeks into the eight week program with Carolyn Maul at the Nashua Athletic Club and the classes have served me well. I have learned that there is more to weight loss than just dieting and exercise. Nutrition is now an integral part of my life and frankly I have no sense of, nor desire to turn back to the old me.

When I went into Wednesday night’s class I was feeling especially confident in how far I have come and more importantly on where I am going! When talking about it with Carolyn she said that she could see a “laser focus” in me now. While she might have been overly kind with her words I don’t think that it’s too far off the mark.

In seven weeks I find myself already one third of the way to my goal- but the reality is that this shouldn’t and isn’t a numbers based effort. If I think of an end mark then that would tempt me to consider that this effort will one day be over. The reality is that it will never be over. Much like an alcoholic who can’t risk a single drink I too must be vigilant about my health and weight for the rest of my life.

Am I proud of how I’ve done so far? Of course I am. Even with how great I feel and my weight loss to date I have simply just gone from being really fat to just fat. I still have to power through the pretty fat, kind of fat and chunky state of life before I get to where I need to be!

So with that I must continue to journey on down this road of change. Unlike Dorothy my road isn’t paved with yellow bricks. My road is paved with nutrition, exercise, lots of sweat and did I mention focus? Laser focus to be exact!

Weekly results:

As I didn’t post last week here are the results for the past two weeks. Two weeks ago I lost 4.8 pounds and this past week I lost 2.2 pounds for a seven week total of 33.2 pounds and 12.21% overall weight loss. As I was looking at this chart I saw a familiar pattern in the numbers. From week two on I have had a big loss week followed by a small loss week for six straight weeks. I’m not sure what to make of that but I am hopeful that if the pattern continues I should have a great week this week.

Also of note is the fact that for the first time in a long time I am in the 260’s, (just barely). If someone had told me seven weeks ago that at 303 pounds I could be where I am already I would have thought them crazy.

Last

This

Pounds Lost

Total

% Weight

Week

Week

Week

This Week

Pounds Lost

Loss to Date

1

303

294

9

9

2.97%

2

294

287.2

6.8

15.8

5.37%

3

287.2

284.6

2.6

18.4

6.41%

4

284.6

279.4

5.2

23.6

8.29%

5

279.4

276.8

2.6

26.2

9.38%

6

276.8

272

4.8

31

11.20%

7

272

269.8

2.2

33.2

12.21%